Caught in a Love Triangle
Back in 2012, my life in Portugal was going nowhere. I was 20 years old, living with my parents and brothers, working in a clothes store, part-time, feeling unhappiness every day, arguing with my parents for no reason and witnessing a falling from my eldest brother — Pretty much my life was a mess.
I needed to escape
I needed to escape the daily discussions, my unagitated brain always looking for answers but couldn’t make my body move in any direction.
One afternoon, my best friend back then gave me a call, “Pedro, how are you man? What do you say about moving to Switzerland?”. He said!
I got scared immediately and said that I had to think about it! Can you imagine, feeling unhappiness every day and when the opportunity emerges, my reaction was to shy away and be scared? Magical brain.
The second call came, and now I couldn’t shy away, I needed to be brave and hope for some changes in my life, so I said YES!
There I went, to Switzerland, a young man looking to be alone for the first time, soon I realized being lonely and alone are two different things.
At first, I couldn’t believe how great being alone was, six months in, I felt the loneliest I could ever be.
Involved in a routine of work, eating and watching movies. In my free days, I only watched movies and cried for being alone.
A message on Facebook
One night, I received a message on my Facebook messenger, it’s my neighbour next door. I was not the only one feeling alone. She was blonde and quite small, I would say barely 1.50cm. We texted for a few days, and I knew she had a boyfriend, but I was so lonely that I didn’t see that as a problem.
Sometimes we are thrown in situations unimaginable, never I would think that one day I felt so lonely that I was considering getting evolved with the girl next door, with a boyfriend.
Days have passed, the texting continued, it was enough. I knocked on her door and kissed her straight away, from that moment forward there was no more texting, we were sleeping together every day.
We became lovers
We escaped loneliness together, I found someone who could listen to me, and we could speak for hours. I felt a feeling of happiness, my life was not that bad. I had work, a good salary, and someone who I could talk and sleep with. The fact that she had a boyfriend for 14 years did affect me, but I convinced me it was a temporary situation and eventually we would go different ways.
He decided to visit her
The ultimatum test was about to be revealed. Her boyfriend lived a few hours away, and he decided to visit her.
We agreed that the relationship we were having only happened due to the circumstances, otherwise we would never be together, or even think about each other.
I am now in my room, when suddenly I listen to a knock on my door, it was him and her. I could not believe my eyes.
“Hey, everything ok?”, he said.
“Everything is perfect, thank you for asking.”, I replied with an uncertain tone of voice.
“We were wondering if you wanted to join us for a coffee?”, he said with a smile on his face.
“I am sorry, I didn’t have a good sleep last night, I really need this afternoon to rest!” I said with a relief look on my face.
I could not believe what I have just witnessed, that affected me tremendously. Now, I see a face. This is serious.
They returned, and I could listen to everything from my room, I did not hear them having sex, but my mind pictured everything, I was starting to get jealous.
“No way, you can not feel jealous! Please brain stop! Stop picturing them, I don’t care about them!”, it was too late.
He left.
The engine of his car was still not on, and she was already knocking on my door.
“Are you crazy?! He might still be here?” I said
“Don’t worry, it’s ok.” She replied confidently.
I didn’t know what to think anymore, she was so comfortable, not even bothered with all this situation.
So, I plugged off my consciousness and went along. My feelings were twisted and now I am thinking of having a future with her. We kept seeing each other for six more months, somehow, she kept him away, with excuses of work and being ill. He was suspicious.
Final decision
I could not believe that I was falling in love with her, and getting mad every time they would speak on the phone.
“What is wrong with me, that’s not part of the f***** deal!” I murmured to my conscious.
I needed to decide, so I decided to leave! Those would be the last months on that mountain.
We agreed to be together till we both leave that mountain, days passed by and the feeling of not seeing her again was painful. But had to be like this.
The day has arrived, I drove her to the airport because she decided to go on holidays with a colleague.
We were touching hands while I was driving, it was the last moments, a long drive.
The moment has come, we hugged for a really long time and we said goodbye, I couldn’t kiss her because everything was a secret on that mountain and the other girl couldn’t see.
There they go, and I cried like a baby and cried and cried and cried.
Who would say?
Everything started with loneliness, had a reason to be, and then my feelings took over and I was not the “ironman” anymore.
Few months in and I am socializing with my family and friends, going out and having fun. Completely forgot her. However, she could not forget me and still wanted a relationship with both of us.
I would rather not leave any final notes.
